Blood Family
by mesomeso
Summary: When Emil meets his brother Lukas for the first time in many years, the two have an instant connection, which becomes deeper and deeper. But as they begin to fall in love, they have to come to terms with the gravity of what they are doing...along with the secrets that Lukas is hiding... Human AU, NorIce.
1. Chapter 1

The sky was blue and the sun was bright. Leaves whipped this way and that on the hard pavement, wind whistled by his ears.  
>And it was fucking freezing.<br>Emil breathed hot air into his hands and rubbed them together frantically, hoping that he wouldn't freeze out on this cold December day.  
><em>God, where is that bloody train?<br>_For an hour Emil had stood at the train stop. Tears frozen on his face, he had waited and waited and waited. He had _supposed _to be going to his girlfriend's house, hence why he had to get the latest train. She had always said that she loved him, and that he loved her; indeed, when they were a little older than their seventeen years, they decided that they would get married. Said girlfriend, who had not been at school that day due to illness, was found in bed with another boy from their school. Instead of getting an 'Emil, it's not what it looks like!' or a 'Please, darling, I'm so sorry!' Emil got an honest answer – that she had met someone else, and would be seeing him from now on.  
>Due to this unfortunate turn of events, Emil had missed his train. But, he decided, if he <em>really <em>wanted to blame someone for this, then it would be Tino. If Tino hadn't reminded him to set an alarm for school that morning, then he wouldn't have been late. If Emil hadn't been late, he wouldn't have had an after-school detention. If he didn't have an after-school detention, then he could have got to his girlfriend's house at the usual time, and not catch the love of his life and some spunk-stain engaged in coitus.  
>That being said, Tino had been quite busy last night, but Emil didn't think this was a good enough excuse.<br>'Emil,' Tino had said, 'as you know, your brother is coming home from university tomorrow.'  
>Emil had sighed, rolled his eyes.<br>'So? Mathias is my brother too. Why do I care?'  
>Tino closed his eyes. 'Your <em>real <em>brother.'  
>Of course. Although they all masqueraded as blood family, there was in fact no genetic link between Emil, his "parents" Tino and Berwald, and Mathias, his "brother". In actuality, Emil had never met any blood relatives – until today. Lukas Bondevik was the blood brother from long ago, whom Emil could only recall brief flashes of. He had spent a long time away from home and, recently, had graduated university with a degree in law; with nowhere else to go, Tino offered him a place back at home. And so, after many years, Lukas was returning.<br>Emil came back into reality with a jolt when he heard the train finally pull up. Sighing, he boarded the train. Much to his surprise, it was empty. Almost.  
>Sitting in the corner was the most handsome boy – no, <em>man<em> – Emil had ever seen. He was reading a thick book; Emil supposed that a door could be held open with a few copies stacked upon one another. Pinned back with a silver cross hairclip was soft, shiny hair the colour of beach sand; his eyes (at least, what little Emil could see of them) were a deep blue, and called to mind the sea.  
>As the train began to move, the man looked up slowly at Emil, and gave him an incredibly strange look. Immediately averting his eyes, Emil put his earphones in, but didn't bother switching his music on. Out of the corner of his eye, Emil saw the man go back to his book.<br>And so it went on. Every now and then during the train journey that seemed to last a million years, he would steal a glance at the golden-haired man, long enough for him to scowl at Emil, and then pretend to text somebody on his phone.  
>Maybe it was just his hormones – in fact, it probably was – but Emil had never found himself to be quite so attracted to another guy before. Sure, he'd wondered about his sexuality – who hadn't? – but he'd sooner have died then tell anyone about it. It wasn't as though Berwald and Tino wouldn't accept it (they were gay themselves), it was more that he didn't want to be beaten up.<br>Just as he was wondering how Blue-Eyes (this was the nickname Emil decided to give the handsome man) managed to get his hair to look so soft, his phone began to ring. Very, very loudly.  
>Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if Emil wasn't intently staring at Blue-Eyes, but he was. And so, when he looked over to see just what the hell that noise was, all Blue-Eyes could see was Emil gazing at him.<br>'Have you got some sort of fucking problem?' hissed Blue-Eyes, flushing.  
>'N-no,' Emil muttered, staring at the floor as he held the phone to his ear, answering it.<br>'_What?_' It came out harsher, and louder, than he had expected.  
>'It's just me,' said Tino. 'What's wrong?'<br>Emil sighed. 'Nothing.'  
>'Are you nearly home?'<br>'Uh…' Emil looked up at the sign. _Approximately five minutes to the next stop. _'More or less.'  
>'Good. I just wanted to make sure. Well, bye!'<br>Just like that, Tino slammed the phone back onto the receiver. Emil groaned and slid it back into his pocket.  
><em>I'm such an idiot, <em>he thought to himself. _Maybe that's why she was cheating on me…  
><em>Before he could stop them, fresh tears began to flow down Emil's cheeks, and he put his head in his hands.  
><em>This is my fault, <em>he thought as he sobbed, shoulders shaking. _If I wasn't so…  
><em>'Hey…'  
>He looked up.<br>Blue-Eyes had his hand on Emil's shoulder, looking concerned.  
>'I didn't mean to upset you this much. I just…I mean, you were staring at me, so…'<br>Emil shook his head. 'It isn't you.'  
>A glimmer of something – sympathy? – flashed in his eyes. 'Bad day?'<br>'Mm.'  
>Emil averted his eyes, not wanting to tell him what had happened. How would he begin to say it? <em>My now-ex-girlfriend is sleeping around, it's freezing, and I had to wait for an hour to catch the train. Oh, and also, just the sight of you is making me doubt my sexuality.<br>_'Well…think of the positives. I mean, there must be something good about today, right?'  
>Rubbing his eyes, Emil stood up as the tinkling voice said, 'Final stop.'<br>'Well, my big brother is coming back today. He's been gone for a long time, and…well, he's the only family I've got.'  
>A look of confusion came over Blue-Eyes, but he held his hand out to Emil for him to shake.<br>'Is your name Emil?'  
>Emil blinked. 'Yes…'<br>A grin broke over Blue-Eyes' face. 'I think we know each other.'  
>'No, I –'<br>'I'm Lukas,' he said, interrupting. 'Lukas Bondevik.'


	2. Chapter 2

'Well, this is a strange turn of events, right?'  
>'Mm.'<br>'What a small world. You could have been anywhere in the country, and there you were, on the same train.'  
>'Uh-huh.'<br>As they walked back from the train station to the house, Emil couldn't help but notice that Lukas Bondevik – as handsome as he was – wasn't one for talking. In fact, it seemed as though he would rather disembowel himself on the spot than engage in conversation with his younger brother.  
><em>Brother. <em>Emil's heart leapt when he thought about that. For the first time in his life, he had…family. Real family. Blood family. And yet…he didn't feel as though he was in the presence of a family member. Maybe it was Lukas' aloofness, or maybe it was that they hadn't seen each other since Emil was a toddler, but…he couldn't quite put his finger on it.  
>Emil was brought out of his reverie by his phone vibrating. Immediately after the embarrassing phone moment on the train he had put it on silent, but that didn't make it any more noticeable.<br>'I'm popular today,' he noted, in an attempt to ignite conversation with Lukas. It didn't seem to have any effect.  
>'Oh.'<br>_You're not going to run with it…?!  
><em>Instead of a phone call, however, this was a text message. Opening it up, Emil prayed that it wasn't from his – well, his _ex-_girlfriend. Thankfully, it was Leon, an acquaintance of Emil's, who talked to him more than he would have liked. Because of this, a lot of the message history between Leon and Emil was Leon asking Emil to hang out with him, and Emil ignoring it.  
><em>'Hey, what the hell happened between u and charlotte?'<br>_Her name made him wince slightly. He had been trying not to think of it, and yet…  
>Well, he supposed he'd have to tell Leon. Although he couldn't keep his mouth closed and would tell everybody your secrets, at least Leon would tell them <em>truthfully. <em>In a way, it was better to have everybody know what had _actually _happened, than have everybody at school make assumptions based on lies.  
><em>'I'll text you later, don't worry.'<br>_

Before Emil could even knock on the door, Tino swung it open, grinning all over his face.  
>'Lukas!'<br>He didn't exactly _shove _Emil out of the way, but that's definitely what it felt like – indeed, Tino didn't pay any attention to Emil until dinner that evening.  
>'So, Emil, did you have a good day?'<br>Emil scooped up a forkful of cabbage. 'It was alright.'  
>'It doesn't <em>look <em>like it was alright,' Tino said, with an edge of concern in his voice. 'You've hardly said anything since you've been home.'  
>Emil shook his head and sighed.<br>'Someone say something at school?' asked Berwald.  
>Emil averted his eyes, moving his food around on his plate with his fork.<br>'Do you know, Lukas?' asked Mathias, rounding on him. Lukas gave him an incredibly strange look.  
>'Well, don't you, like, have the same thoughts?'<br>'His girlfriend broke up with him,' said Lukas loudly.  
>Emil slammed his fork down. 'She didn't <em>break up <em>with me, for God's sake! She was fucking some kid in my class, alright? I had to cut her loose.'  
>Lukas scoffed. 'You were crying.'<br>'Tears of joy, probably!'  
>'Oh, for heaven's sake!' cried Tino. 'You've known each other for two minutes and you're already snapping at each other?'<br>'I'm going to go and take Hanatamago for a walk,' said Berwald quickly, standing up.  
>'Yeah, that's right,' muttered Tino, 'run away from our problems, like you always do…'<em><br>_Berwald elected to ignore this and walked out, calling the puppy. Tino, with tears in his eyes, stood up, threw his empty plate in the kitchen sink, and stormed upstairs. Mathias glared at Emil.  
>'Thanks Emil, you've fucked it now. Good job at ruining the night.'<br>'Fuck you, Mathias!'  
>As the Dane slammed the door behind him as he left, Emil stood up and glared daggers at Lukas.<br>'This is your fault.'  
>'No, it isn't.' Lukas had finished his dinner now, and carried his plate out to the kitchen.<br>'Lukas…'  
>'Shh. Don't cause any more problems, Emil.'<br>'But –'  
>'Maybe you should just go to bed,' he said delicately.<br>'God, fine!' Emil snapped, and stormed upstairs. He slammed the door behind him, flopped onto his bed, and, as though on cue, his phone began to ring.  
>'What?'<br>'Emil, it's _me._ Not Charlotte or something.'  
>Of course. He hadn't texted Leon on the subject of Charlotte.<br>'Oh…sorry. I just – I'm having a rough time.'  
>'Tell me, man!'<br>'Wow, you're eager. Well, basically, I went to Charlotte's and saw her fucking some kid from our class.'  
>'Shit. Who?'<br>'I don't know. I didn't see his face.'  
>'And then what?'<br>'What do you mean?'  
>'Did you pull him off of her and beat the living daylights out of him?'<br>'No.'  
>'Not even a little? No verbal berating?'<br>'_No.'  
><em>'Well, what did you do, then?'  
>'…I cried.'<br>'Jesus.'  
>'W-well, I was upset!'<br>'Sure. Well, that's all I wanted to know. Talk to you later.'  
>'Bye.'<br>Emil's conversations with Leon were always brief, but he liked it that way. In all honesty, he didn't really like speaking to people very much.  
>Lying back down on his bed, he stared up at the ceiling. Charlotte…he still loved her, dammit. But he had no chance with her now. And…and Lukas…<br>_No, _he thought bitterly. _Lukas is a cunt.  
><em>But he _was _handsome. Different from Emil, but…handsome. He wasn't entirely sure what his parents looked like, but looking at Lukas really made Emil doubt whether or not he was _really _a relative.  
>There was a sudden knock on the door. Emil jumped right up.<br>'What?'  
>With a creak the door opened, and Lukas popped his head round the door.<br>'Are you alright?'  
>Emil narrowed his eyes. 'Why do you care?'<br>Lukas opened the door a little wider and threw his hands up in defeat. 'What, can't I care about my brother?'  
>'Tsk.' The sound of annoyance was supposed to be quieter than it actually was, and Lukas scoffed.<br>'Well, that's not nice. Look…' – Emil felt the bed become heavier as Lukas sat on it – 'I'm sorry if I upset you. I think that the two of us should do something. It's Saturday tomorrow, right? We should go out and do something…brotherly.'  
>'Like what, huh?'<br>'Maybe…see a movie?'  
>Emil closed his eyes. 'I don't care.'<br>'Do you want to, or not?'  
>'Whatever.'<br>'I'll take that as a yes, then.' Just as he was about to walk out of the room, Lukas turned towards his younger brother.  
>'Emil?'<br>'Mm?'  
>'Goodnight.'<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Just like most teenagers, Emil adored the weekends. No school, no homework…two days – two short, blissful days – of freedom. The only problem was that they seemed to go by in a flash.  
>When he woke up on that cold Saturday morning, the first thing Emil felt was Hanatamago licking his face.<br>'Ugh, Hana! Get off!' he yelped, batting the puppy away. Barking feebly at him, Hanatamago stalked out of the room, obviously offended. Cursing under his breath Emil got up, yawned, and plodded down the stairs.  
>'Oh, he's awake,' noted Tino as the younger man entered the room. 'Good morning.'<br>'Technically,' said a voice from the table, 'it's the afternoon.'  
>Sitting at said table was Lukas. Emil glanced in his general direction before looking up at the clock, which read 12:04.<br>'I've already made breakfast, but I didn't think you'd want to be woken up,' Tino explained when he caught Emil looking at the dishes in the sink. 'But Berwald figured that you'd want to be up when Peter got here, so we sent Hana to wake you up.'  
><em>Stupid dog, <em>thought Emil, sitting beside his brother at the table.  
>Wait.<br>'What do you mean, when Peter gets here?' said Emil incredulously, looking up at Tino. He giggled awkwardly.  
>'Didn't anyone tell you? He's coming to stay with us for a little while. Apparently he's driving Arthur up the wall –'<br>'So what, he's coming here to piss all of us off?'  
>' – and so we agreed that, in order to prevent Arthur from being stressed out, he could stay with us. It's only for a few weeks –'<br>'Why didn't you tell me?!'  
>'Well,' said Tino, his voice wavering, 'it's not – I mean, I thought you knew. Didn't anyone tell you last night…?'<br>'Oh, I'm sorry. That's right, I have to ask you everything that might happen, just in case it does. I forgot that's how it works.'  
>Tino closed his eyes. 'Emil…'<br>'Don't _Emil _me. God, why are you so fucking difficult all the time?'  
>'Emil, don't use that sort of –'<br>'Fuck you, Tino.' Emil stood up, the chair legs scraping against the floor. 'Fuck you. With something hard and sandpapery.'  
>It sounded as though Tino was crying when Emil stormed back upstairs. <em>I don't care, <em>he thought furiously. _I don't give a flying fuck how he feels. _He was so angry that, at that moment, he felt like getting up and leaving. Like packing his bags, leaving a note, and going someplace where no one knew him. But as soon as he flopped down onto his bed, he burst into tears.  
>He was distraught, there was no doubt – but he couldn't quite put his finger on <em>why<em>. Charlotte, of course, was a contributing factor; but the gaping wound that she left seemed to have almost healed overnight. Strange, certainly, but…  
>Maybe it was Lukas. Yes, that was definitely it. The stress of having a real brother, having someone new to impress…someone who won't talk to you…someone who was so devastatingly handsome it almost hurt to look at him…<br>Emil sat up sharply.  
>What was he doing? For a second there – a fleeting split-second – a vision of Lukas and Emil together had crossed his mind. Not as brothers, though…as something more, maybe? Maybe…<br>'Emil.'  
>'Ah!'<br>Emil jumped and hit his head on the wall. No, it was wrong. Horrible. He slapped himself round the face, twice, to get the image of himself and Lukas out of his head.  
>'Yes?' he said, opening the door. It was Lukas.<br>Oh, brilliant.  
>'Are you alright?'<br>Emil nodded, averting his eyes. Lukas gestured to his brother's face.  
>'You've been crying.'<br>Self-consciously wiping his face with his sleeve, Emil nodded. 'And?'  
>Lukas licked his dry lips and looked Emil in the eyes. 'Can I come in?'<br>Emil shrugged, and stepped back. 'Whatever.'  
>Lukas advanced into the room and closed the door gently. 'Look, Emil…'<br>'I don't want any sympathy.'  
>'No, I'm…look. I know I haven't been around at all throughout your childhood, but the fact still stands that I am your brother. And I want to make it up to you. I know you're probably upset about your girlfriend – hell, I've been through it, I know how much it hurts – but like I said yesterday, we should totally do something today.'<br>'We can't, though. Not now that Peter's coming…'  
>'Of course we can. He's not coming here to see <em>you, <em>is he?' Lukas winked at Emil.  
>Emil felt his face burn bright red. <em>Oh, God.<br>_'I think we should go out and have lunch, catch up. I mean…we're brothers, right?'_  
><em>'Yeah.' But as he looked at Lukas, Emil felt something strange stirring in the pit of his stomach. Was it…_attraction?  
><em>'Well, you should get dressed. We'll leave at one, okay?'  
>And for the first time for a while, Emil found himself breaking into a grin. 'Sure.'<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

'Choose whatever you want, Emil. It's on me.'  
><em>That's good, <em>Emil thought to himself. _I'm completely broke.  
><em>The restaurant had a nice ambience, calling to mind a 1950's American diner. True to this setting, all the food on the menu seemed to be very unhealthy. Emil scanned the menu, looking for something that wasn't a heart attack waiting to happen.  
>'Hurry up, Emil. That waitress is giving us funny looks.'<br>Emil glanced up. True enough, a waitress with her hair piled up on her head was staring impatiently at the two brothers.  
>'She probably thinks we're on a date or something,' Emil muttered, putting the menu onto the table. 'I mean, we don't look like brothers. You're way more handsome than me.'<br>As soon the words rolled off his tongue he regretted them. As his face turned bright red, a look of amusement glittered in Lukas' eyes.  
>'Oh, really? Thank you. Although I have to say…you're not so bad yourself.'<br>Emil grinned in spite of his embarrassment, and slid the menu over to Lukas.  
>'I think I'll just have some chips.'<br>'Mm, me too. Alright, I'll order.'  
>As Lukas beckoned the waitress over, Emil found himself lost in thought. Did he really just say that? 'You're way more handsome than me?' Handsome?! He cringed as it replayed over and over in his head.<br>_Jesus Christ.  
><em>He tapped his fingers absent-mindedly on the table, humming as he looked around. Tinsel decorated the walls, distracting from the white paint peeling off the walls to reveal bricks underneath. In all honesty he felt a little offended that he had been taken out to this shithole, but he decided to swallow his pride and just feel happy that he Lukas weren't snapping at each other like yesterday.  
>'Emil, do you want a drink?' asked his brother, throwing a glance at the annoyed-looking waitress with her pen poised in mid-air over her pad. Deciding that it would be better to quench his non-existent thirst than risk her wrath, he ordered a glass of water. She flounced away, muttering to herself.<br>'So,' began Emil.  
>'So.'<br>It didn't seem as though they would be having long-winded, interesting conversations any time soon. They sat in a painfully awkward silence, with Emil pretending to admire the Christmas decorations adorning the restaurant.  
>'Um…what did you do at university?' asked Emil, staring at the nails of his left hand.<br>'Law.'  
>'Is it interesting?'<br>'Mm.'  
>Emil sighed audibly, and Lukas raised his eyebrows.<br>'Something wrong?'  
>'It's just…you don't even make an effort with conversation.'<br>Lukas shrugged. 'I'm not a very, ah, _sociable _person.'  
>'I gathered that,' Emil muttered.<br>'So I should change, should I?'  
>It sounded so passive-aggressive that Emil physically winced. 'No, I…'<br>'Because I would. You know that I'd do anything for you.'  
><em>What.<br>_'What?'  
>'You heard me.'<br>'I'm not – Lukas, I'm not asking you to change, I'm just saying that you could try and –'  
>'No, Emil. If you want me to do something then all you have to do is ask.'<br>'But…hey, let's be realistic here, shall we? You fucked off out of my life when I was a toddler and I haven't seen you since, and then fifteen years later you turn up again, and you're telling me that you'd do anything for me? Why the hell do you care?!'  
>'Shh.' Lukas put his finger to Emil's lips. 'Just calm down.'<br>His eyes were like the sea. Deep blue, calm, gorgeous. Feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks Emil looked down. Lukas reached up and ran his fingers through Emil's hair, smiling slightly.  
>'Not…not here…'<br>'No? But you'd be fine doing it somewhere else?'  
>'You idiot. Just shut up.'<br>With a satisfied look on his face Lukas sat back properly in his chair. 'Oh, fucking chill _out_, Emil.'  
>Before he could come right back at Lukas with an incredibly witty remark, the waitress sashayed over, carrying a tray. She set the contents of the tray (two small plates of chips, a glass of water and half a glass of…something) onto the table, and then walked away without a second glance.<br>Emil moved the food around his plate with his fork. 'Lukas, why are you doing this?'  
>'Doing what?' he asked, innocently.<br>'You're acting so…weird. I mean…we're brothers.'  
>There was a glint in Lukas' eyes. 'So?'<br>'What do you mean?!' spluttered Emil. 'I – we can't –'  
>'It doesn't <em>feel <em>like we're brothers. You know it doesn't.'  
>Emil was suddenly feeling very angry. 'And whose fault is that?'<br>'Don't get angry. I'm sorry for leaving you like that.'  
>'It's…oh, for God's sake.'<br>'What?'  
>Emil pulled his phone out and glanced at it. Leon again.<br>'Can't I go one day without you harassing me?' he hissed, jabbing buttons with finger.  
>'Your ex?'<br>'Tsk. She's probably never going to speak to me again. No, it's Leon.'  
>'Leon?'<br>'Stupid dickhead.'  
>Lukas laughed. 'Now, that's no way to talk about your friends.'<br>'Well, he's a –'  
>'Don't you dare swear again. I don't like hearing that come out of my baby brother's mouth.'<br>Lukas slipped a little silver canister out of his breast pocket, opened it, and upturned it over his half-full glass. He glanced up at Emil, who was gaping at him.  
>'What?'<br>'You…it's too early for that…'  
>Lukas shrugged. 'I don't care.'<br>And with one swift movement, he downed it in one go.

Once Lukas had paid, the two left the restaurant, ignoring the waitress' sardonic mutters of generous tips.  
>'Damn,' muttered Lukas. 'Look, it's chucking it down…'<br>It was true. The rain beat down on the soaked asphalt, and onto Emil. He was hoping that it would snow, heavily, so that he wouldn't have to go to school on Monday and face Charlotte.  
>'What should we do?' asked Emil, biting his lip.<br>'Go home. It's only a short walk.'  
>'Yeah, but…look…'<br>'Stop being such a baby,' said Lukas softly, linking arms with Emil.  
>'What are you –'<br>'Let's go home.'


	5. Chapter 5

'Hi, Emil!'  
>When Emil and Lukas arrived back at the house, the first thing that the former was greeted by was a huge hug that almost took him off his feet.<br>'Wha – Peter!'  
>Grinning all over his face, the boy released Emil from his vice-like grip and opened the front door.<br>'Tino, Berwald, Mathias!' he yelled into an empty hallway. 'Emil's back!'  
>'Are you alright?' Lukas murmured into Emil's ear. It was then he realised that Lukas had one hand on his shoulder, one on his lower back; evidently, he was the reason that Emil hadn't tumbled to the floor when Peter hugged him.<br>'I'm fine,' muttered Emil, standing up straight. With Lukas following behind him, Emil strode into the house.  
>'Oh, Emil, Leon rang earlier,' said Tino, nodding at the phone. 'You should call back.'<br>'What did he want?'  
>Tino shrugged. 'Just…call him, okay?'<br>'Alright, I'll just…' Emil reached out to grab the phone, but Tino stopped him quickly.  
>'Why don't you go upstairs and do it?'<br>Emil narrowed his eyes. 'Why can't I –'  
>'Go on, Emil,' said Lukas softly, putting his hand on Emil's shoulder.<br>'God, fine,' he muttered, and headed upstairs.  
>The first thing Emil saw when he opened his bedroom door was Berwald. This was strange in itself, as Berwald never went into the death trap that was Emil's room, but what was even stranger was that it was clean. No dirty dishes littering his desk, no screwed-up laundry thrown haphazardly on the floor. It had been vacuumed, and his bed was made.<br>'Wanted it to be clean for Peter,' said Berwald, when Emil gave him a strange look. Said look became one of horror when he saw the small airbed placed beside his desk.  
>'What the hell is that?'<br>'Peter's gonna be sleeping in here. That okay?'  
>'No, it's not!'<br>'Hey, what's going on?'  
>Emil turned. Mathias, clad only in a towel and frantically running a comb through his wet hair, appeared at the door.<br>'Did you know about this?' asked Emil furiously, rounding on Mathias. 'That Peter was sleeping in here?'  
>'Well, I thought you'd have guessed, to be honest,' said Mathias. 'There's no spare rooms and you're the youngest, so…'<br>'No. No way is that little rat sleeping in here.'  
>'Don't worry, Emil. If you want to masturbate then I'm sure you can go in the bathroom.'<br>Emil felt his face flush bright red. 'Th-that's not what I meant!'  
>'It's happening,' said Berwald softly. 'I'm sorry, Emil, but I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it.'<br>'Oh, for the love of – fine! _Fine. _I need to make a call so get out please.'  
>As he spoke Emil pushed Berwald out of the room, and once he was in the hallway, slammed the door. As he flopped down onto his newly-made bed, Emil dialled Leon's number.<br>'Yo.'  
>'Hiya. Apparently you called earlier.'<br>'Bit late,' huffed Leon. 'That fucking bitch Charlotte is spreading shit about you.'  
>Emil groaned. 'What's she saying?'<br>'That you're gay.'  
>'Is that it? That's not so bad. And besides, I was going out with her for months, and she is very female.'<br>'Apparently she saw you with some guy at some restaurant earlier.'  
>Brilliant.<br>'That guy was my brother.'  
>Silence.<br>'Really?'  
>'Yes…'<br>'Apparently you were gazing into each other's eyes and being all touchy-feely.'  
>Emil would have scoffed if it wasn't so painfully true.<br>'That would be gross.'  
>'Mm.'<br>'Yeah.'  
>Leon muttered a half-hearted 'bye' and put the phone down. Their conversations, Emil noticed, always seemed to start relatively strong but swiftly dwindle into nothingness. So, with no one to speak to, nothing better to do, and feeling a little peckish, he headed downstairs.<br>He must have been quiet as he went down, because as he walked past the closed living room door, there seemed to be an interesting conversation going on, which no one involved made an effort to censor.  
>'…So you really don't have nightmares anymore?'<br>'No, Tino. I _told _you.'  
>Lukas sounded very assertive, Emil noticed – usually, he spoke with a very soft voice.<br>'And…and the…?'  
>'I don't do it anymore. Tino, please, can we leave it?'<br>'It's just…Lukas, after I got that letter that time…'  
>'That was years ago! I'm fine, honestly.'<br>'But –'  
>'Tino, please.'<br>Tino muttered something that Emil couldn't hear. He suddenly didn't feel as hungry as he did before, and headed back upstairs. 


	6. Chapter 6

'Emil?'  
>'Mm…'<br>Emil struggled against the voice, attempting to resist being shaken.  
>'Emil, come on…I want to show you something…'<br>It was Lukas. Of course, who else? As it was Lukas, Emil felt obliged to get up.  
>'What?' he yawned groggily, rubbing his eyes.<br>It was dark, but he could see his brother's blue eyes clearly.  
>'I want to show you something.'<br>So Emil allowed himself to be dragged out of bed by his brother.  
>'Be careful…' he muttered, still half-asleep, 'don't squish Peter…'<br>Lukas led his brother by the hand out into the hallway, through his bedroom, and out onto the veranda. The cold wind bit into him, and woke him up.  
>'Lukas, it's freezing out here!'<br>'Shh,' Lukas said, pulling his brother closely. He pointed up at the sky. 'Look at that.'  
>Emil had seen it before, of course he had – but that didn't make it any less special. Green and blue danced across the sky, streaked by lights of red, against a backdrop of blue sky and twinkling stars. It cast shadows upon Lukas' face, who was looking at Emil.<br>'It's beautiful, isn't it?' murmured Lukas, squeezing his brother's hand.  
>'Of course,' whispered Emil in agreement, leaning his head against Lukas' shoulder. The aurora always inspired a sense of awe in him.<br>For a while they stood like that, staring up at the flickering lights above them, until Lukas turned around and faced Emil. He put his hands around his waist, pulling him close.  
>'Emil…'<br>Emil's mouth had become very dry. 'Y-yes…?'  
>'I…I know this is all quite new to you, but…'<br>Lukas looked down, sighing. 'Oh, God. I'm despicable.'  
>'No.' It came out harsher than Emil intended. 'You're lovely.'<br>'Am I?' asked Lukas huskily. 'Is it…right?'  
>Emil leaned close to his brother. 'Yes.'<br>'You don't even know what I was going to –'  
>'I really like you, Lukas.' There it was. The feelings that he had been repressing for – well, it was only a few days, but in Emil's teenaged mind it felt like an eternity.<br>Lukas raised his eyebrows. 'Is that so?'  
>'And I…I…'<br>Lukas cupped Emil's face in his hands. 'You don't have to say any more, Emil. I like you, too. But not in the way a brother should.'  
>Emil winced. 'Lukas…'<br>'Can I kiss you, Emil?'  
>He averted his eyes. 'I…I don't…'<br>'You don't want to?'  
>'No, I…I do, but…we're…'<br>'Brothers?'  
>'Yes. And I…I wonder, if this…if this is something we should be doing…'<br>'It's alright. If you want it, then I want it too.' Lukas began to lean in close to Emil.  
><em>It's alright, <em>he thought. _It's just a kiss, just a kiss, there's no harm in it honest there isn't there's no harm in it no harm –  
><em>And then Lukas' lips touched Emil's, and it was like heaven, only sweeter, and tasting faintly of honey. For a second he forgot everything – that they were outside in the cold, that anyone could have caught them, even that they were blood family – and just lost himself.


	7. Chapter 7

'...So please get into your groups, and we will continue with the work.'  
>It had been a month. At some point – Emil didn't know exactly when it was – Lukas had got a job in the city, meaning that he had to commute for an hour-and-a-half every day just to get there. To top it off, he worked long hours, and there would often be days when he simply checked into a nearby hotel instead of coming home. Even worse, the two had barely communicated since that night on the veranda.<br>Leon pushed his desk against Emil's, grinning. 'Hey, can Lili work with us?'  
>Almost on cue (or maybe it was because she'd heard her name mentioned), Lili Zwingli edged shyly over to the boys. She wasn't a new student – she'd been there just as long as everybody else had – and yet, she seemed to have trouble making friends. It appeared that the other girls didn't like her very much.<br>'Hello,' she said quietly, blushing slightly.  
>'Hi.'<br>She pulled up a spare chair and sat beside Leon, playing with her hair.  
>'Yo, Emil, what're we actually doing?'<br>'Um...' Emil briefly glanced at his notes, taken in a daze whilst the teacher drearily delivered her monologue on imprinting. 'I think we just have to do a case study about...this.'  
>Leon sighed. 'God, this shit is so <em>boring<em>.'  
>Emil scoffed. 'Why did you take psychology, then?'<br>'Because,' Leon burst out, 'I thought it'd be all, y'know, talking about mentally ill prisoners and learning about the brutal stuff they did!'  
>'I think that's forensic psychology,' giggled Lili.<br>'But this is totally shit,' said Leon, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. Then, although he didn't move from his position, his eyes widened. 'Did she hear that?'  
>Emil looked up to where their angry-looking teacher stood beside her desk. Slowly, she nodded.<br>'Yep,' muttered Emil, 'she's heard that one.'  
>Grimacing, Leon groaned. 'Oh, <em>God<em>.'  
>'Let's just get started with the work,' Lili said quickly, leaning forward and picking up her pen.<br>'Right,' said Leon. 'Emil, can I borrow your notes?'  
>'...You didn't take any, did you?'<br>Dramatically, Leon put the back of his hand to his forehead. 'You misjudge me, sir!' he cried. Then he grinned. 'No, I didn't.'  
>'God, fine.'<br>Emil slid his book across the table to Leon, who bowed his head so low in thanks that he whacked his head against the desk.  
>'Ow!'<br>'Just read me my notes before you blatantly copy them,' said Emil dismissively. 'Unlike you, I give a damn about my education, and I want to make sure they're correct.'  
>'Jeez, alright,' said Leon. 'Okay, where do I start?'<br>'Funnily enough, you start at the top of the page.'  
>'Nobody likes a smartass, Emil.'<br>'Just do it, will you?'  
>Although he muttered something insolent under his breath, Leon began to read aloud. He read, Emil had discovered not too long ago, as though it was his mother's death sentence – that is to say, extremely fast so that it didn't have time to register.<br>'"Imprinting is a phenomenon first discovered by Konrad Lorenz. He first observed it with baby ducks, as he realised that they followed their mother around within a few hours of hatching. When he raised baby geese himself, he saw that they became imprinted on him..." Emil, are you sure these are the right notes? Sorry, but I was under the impression that this was human psychology.'  
>'Read further on.'<br>Leon scanned the page. 'It's all about attachment in babies.'  
>'Well, if you were listening, you'd know that that's all she talked about in humans.'<br>'Why don't we ask?' suggested Lili. As soon as the last word rolled off her tongue, Leon whipped his hand up.  
>'Teacher!'<br>She sighed, but came over.  
>'Yes, Leon?' she asked sweetly.<br>'Can you tell us more about this imprinting sh – I mean, stuff?'  
>The teacher raised her eyebrows. 'Did you take down anything I said?'<br>'Yeah, but...um...'  
>'What he means,' said Lili, 'is, can you tell us a little more about imprinting in humans?'<br>'Of course,' said the teacher. 'Other than the attachment between babies and their parents there are other forms of imprinting.' It sounded as though she was reading from a textbook. 'The most well-known form is known as the Westermarck effect, which basically suppresses inbreeding and prevents incest from going on...'  
>Emil zoned out then, and his mind instantly went back to Lukas. He couldn't even remember his big brother as a kid, not really, just flashes, still images, of Lukas giving him ice cream, letting him get into his bed during thunderstorms, crying when he tripped and Lukas hugging him, making him feel better. But Lukas would have been around five then, and Emil two. The omnipresent golden-haired figure from his childhood was a world away from the tall, handsome, somewhat cold man Emil knew now.<br>'...This does oppose Freud's argument that all humans have an innate lust for their family members, but no psychologist in their right mind would ever cite Freud as a source.'  
>For once, Leon seemed genuinely interested. 'So, if you don't grow up with your sister and you see her as an adult, you might think, "Damn, I'd tap that" even if you knew she was your sister?'<br>'Well, if you knew she was your sister it might lessen the effect slightly, I'd have thought, but if you weren't raised around her then the Westermarck effect isn't likely to be in place. You know, it doesn't have to be with blood relations. If you have a really close childhood friend, then the reason you often don't fall in love with them is the same, because of the Westermarck effect. That also renders a lot of trashy, young-adult romance novels completely useless.'  
>After talking for about five more minutes, the teacher drifted away to another group that was beckoning her.<br>'Well, that was informative,' said Lili.  
>Everything seemed to be making sense. Deep down Emil knew that it was wrong – what he felt for his brother, what his brother apparently felt for him – but at least he had a good excuse now. <em>He wasn't around much, so I never knew him as a brother, not really. That's it. That's all it is.<em>

Once school had finally ended, Emil found a surprise waiting for him at home. One was a small box containing a cream cake, courtesy of Mathias, if the note was anything to go by.  
>The other was Lukas.<br>'Lukas, where have you been?' asked Emil as he poured his brother a cup of tea. 'I haven't seen you in forever.'  
>'Well, I do have a life.' Lukas downed half the cup in one go, and leaned back. 'God, I need a rest.'<br>'What have you been doing, anyway?'  
>Lukas sighed. 'I'm a lawyer.'<br>'Yeah, I know, but...'  
>'Huge case going on right now. Stolen cars and whatnot.'<br>'Fun.'  
>The two sat in silence – an awkward, almost painful silence. At some point Lukas turned the television on to a trashy talk show with lots of screaming and fighting. He tutted when a woman lifted her shirt to show her (pixellated) breasts amidst cheers and laughter.<br>'Why would you do that, though? And on national TV, too!'  
>'People are morons, that's why.' A sudden thought struck Emil, and he turned to Lukas, smiling. 'What, you don't like seeing boobs?'<br>Lukas laughed. 'No, silly. I like _you_.'  
>And like a lion pouncing on it's prey, Lukas threw his arms around his younger brother's neck, pressing his lips against Emil's. The younger boy fell back, lying on the sofa, whilst Lukas lay atop him, swirling his tongue around his mouth. It was a strange sensation and it was wrong, he knew it, but it felt...<em>right.<br>_'I've missed you,' Lukas whispered into Emil's neck when he finally pulled away.  
>'Mm...' Emil would have whispered it back, but there was an unfortunate...<em>tightness <em>around his crotch area.  
>'Hm?' Lukas pulled away, concerned. 'What's wrong?'<br>Emil didn't say anything, but Lukas realised what it was within a few seconds. His eyes lit up with a sort of mischief, and he grinned somewhat maliciously.  
>'Oh, I <em>see. <em>It's this thing, isn't it?' Lukas' hand moved down, stroking Emil's chest. And he wanted this, he wanted it, he did, but...  
>It was wrong.<br>'No,' whined Emil, pushing Lukas away gently. 'Please, don't.'  
>'Why not?' It wasn't accusing – rather, it was gentle, a genuine question.<br>Emil sat up, and Lukas sat on his knees in front of him. 'Why?' he repeated. 'If you're worried about it hurting, it's fine, I won't –'  
>'It's not that,' he whispered. 'I just – I don't –' <em>This is disgusting, and vile, and wrong, and this is definitely <em>not _something we should be doing. _But if he said that...  
>'I'm a virgin,' he blurted out. It wasn't the whole truth but well, it wasn't exactly a <em>lie<em> – Emil had tried various things with Charlotte, but she had freaked out every time and so they stopped. Obviously it was completely irrelevant now on the basis of her fucking someone else, but still.  
>'Is that it?' Lukas laughed. 'Oh, Emil, it's fine. But, if you don't want it, I won't force you. I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with.'<br>'Really?'  
>'Really.'<br>Lukas leaned in close to Emil again. Kissing was okay.  
>'Hi, guys!'<br>Just as suddenly as he had pounced on Emil the first time, Lukas now sprung away at the voice of the young boy.  
>Peter bounced into the room, beaming. He completely blanked Emil and Lukas and turned to the TV, where a (thankfully clothed) woman was doing a pole dance on the stage. It looked as though the talk show was still on.<br>'So, how –' Tino began, walking into the room, dumping bags full of shopping on the floor. As soon as he saw what Peter was watching, he gasped and covered the boy's eyes amidst protests.  
>'Ah! How could you let him watch this, Lukas? Evil, evil!' he cried, closing his eyes. With a swift movement he kicked the shopping out of the way and dragged Peter out of the room.<br>When Emil turned to Lukas, he saw that he was holding back laughter.  
>'It's alright, let it out.'<br>And for the first time for a long while, the two laughed together. 


End file.
